But recovery means you have to take responsibility for your life. And because I’d been drinking heavily for so long, it meant I, too, had a lot of growing up to do. Even though he drank with me, my husband wasn’t (and isn’t) an alcoholic. Addiction is the third most-cited reason for divorce in the United States. Had I not gotten sober, we likely would’ve gone that way as well. I was lonely, but I also wanted to be left alone to drink however I wanted to drink.

• The stress ate me up and my husband bore the brunt of that.
• I discovered that those traits were his innate qualities and not alcohol-induced.
• See How to Speak Your Mind – Become Assertive and Set Limits and How to Be Assertive.
• During this part of recovery, counselors will develop a plan for staying sober while rebuilding life.

Although addiction can have detrimental effects on a marriage, there is still hope for recovery and restoring the relationship. With professional help and support, couples can work towards repairing the damage caused by addiction and rebuilding a healthy, loving marriage. In any relationship, setting boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy dynamic. This becomes even more important after rehab when individuals are still navigating their recovery journey. Both partners must understand and respect each other’s boundaries in order for the marriage to thrive. The supportive partner may also go through their own emotional process.

” Again, the answer is yes, couples can recover together. However, add drugs and alcohol to the equation, and everything intensifies. Addictive behaviors can tear the fabric of any relationship. If you are in recovery from addiction, it’s important to take things slow when it comes to rebuilding your marriage. Recovery is a process that takes time, and it’s important to focus on your sobriety first and foremost.

While you may look back fondly at the pre-addiction days of your marriage, it’s now time to do things differently. Top Dog has been the mainstay of the family and doing most of the parenting. Underdog needs to be encouraged to take on more responsibility, while Top Dog needs to let go of control and stop enabling the addict by being super responsible.

I didn’t understand the devastating amount of damage my 25 years of heavy drinking had done to our marriage. In conclusion, the question of whether marriages last after rehab is a complex and nuanced topic. While there may not be a definitive answer, what is certain is that marriages can be strengthened or tested by the process of addiction recovery. Through our discussion, we have explored various factors that can contribute to the success or failure of marriages after rehab.

Do Marriages Last After Rehab If You Attend Counseling?

Discover some tips that may make the transition into sobriety easier when you have a husband or wife to consider as well. It’s equally beneficial if both partners actively participate in support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or Al-Anon. Doing so builds an understanding of how to manage addiction while fostering respect and compassion toward each other. This approach paves the way forward together on a journey of healing. When you focus on marriage and sobriety, you can often become bogged down.

• Codependency can continue to affect marriages even after your partner has become sober.
• It’s equally beneficial if both partners actively participate in support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or Al-Anon.
• About 3 months after being sent to a ¾-way home that was overrun with drugs, he relapsed and felt hopeless.
• This eventually led him back to school for a degree in psychology.
• This can include discussions about financial responsibilities, household chores, and other shared commitments.
• It may sound simple, but letting your partner know how proud of them you are and how much you appreciate their efforts can go a long way.

Even when they are no longer using drugs or alcohol, they become frustrated when no one trusts them and loved ones are waiting for them to make a mistake—or relapse. However, there are steps they can take to create trust and connection with those closest to them. Also, it’s important during this vulnerable period after rehab to focus on finding ways to relieve stress while actively pursuing positive interactions with loved ones. Rebuilding a marriage after alcoholism can be challenging, but it can be done with hard work, patience, and communication. We also explored how rehab can be a turning point for couples as they embark on individual and joint journeys towards recovery. Through counseling and therapy, couples can learn effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and address underlying issues that may have contributed to the addiction.

Put Your Feelings in Writing

Being patient will be key in getting your marriage back on track, whether you’re living with an alcoholic/drug addict in recovery or you are an alcoholic/drug addict in recovery. After the addict has recovered, however, repairing the relationship is possible. Although rebuilding trust and intimacy will be difficult, you can put your marriage back together using the tips below.

Start the Journey to Healing and Recovery

However, it’s also essential to differentiate AUD from other forms of alcohol use, such as social or binge drinking. This affliction doesn’t discriminate—it can strike any marriage, irrespective marriage changes after sobriety of socio-economic status, love, or the strength of the initial bond. Understand that rebuilding your marriage will be a long and challenging process, and keep your expectations reasonable. Professional help may also be necessary as you work to rebuild your relationship. Remember that alcoholism is a progressive and incurable disease but recovery is possible. Encourage your spouse to seek help and be patient and supportive throughout the process.

He became both my support system and my target and we were utterly codependent as many alcoholics can be (me, not him). I’d have to chug half a bottle of hard cider and chain smoke 2 or 3 cigarettes before I could feel like a person again. Someone who’s stress levels weren’t spiked by chaos, culture clashes, and kamikaze drivers. We gladly paid upwards of $100 USD per person for 4-5 hours of unlimited drinks and buffets.

Go to Marriage Counseling for Addiction

Relapses are common and they do not mean that your partner has ‘failed’. There will be ups and downs but if you are willing to put in the work and get through the difficult early phase, then you can have a normal, happy life with your sober partner. Rebuilding your identity will also be useful in the event that your loved one relapses. Your new identity and life paired with your firm boundaries can help you to not take their relapse personally and to act in your own best interest. Because of this, you’ll need to be patient, take care of yourself, and have firm boundaries.

I don’t want to think about the small mortgage we pissed away on alcohol and cigarettes. In this country, getting wasted is a staple of Western expat life and we were eager participants. My husband and I had never spent more than a couple of weeks physically together before he moved halfway across the world to be with and marry, me. Having a conversation with a partner about complex subjects may feel daunting. With this in mind, writing things down, perhaps in the form of a letter, may help. This gives someone more control over what to say and allows them to plan what they would like to say without feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Sometimes people discover who they really are in recovery and grow apart. Others find the burden is too heavy and decide to end their relationships. Drinking alcoholically means a backlog of real-life, adult problems build up. Arguing with your spouse, getting shit-faced, and venting to your friends, then waking up the next day pretending it didn’t happen is no longer an option.

The most challenging decision I had to consider was whether to stay or leave the relationship. Though I did not doubt that we loved each other, the chaos of addiction had eroded our trust in each other, and my life no longer felt my own. At Casa Palmera, our goal is to aid you in a comprehensive spiritual, physical, and emotional recovery. We offer treatment for chemical dependencies such as cocaine addiction, drug addiction and alcoholism.